Tuesday, October 3, 2023

My brother older than me but not the oldest

I have many brothers - four in total (and two sisters six years older and eight years younger)- but when I was a young child my two older brothers were my teachers and closest to me in age from an older point of view and in particular this brother was two and a half years older than me. He taught me so many things when I was young. Especially he taught me to tie my oxfords. He would teach me the way that my mother preferred but then when she wasn't looking he taught me an easy way (just tie the loops together) and I learned to tie my shoes in time to go to kindergarten. I ended up going a year early because of the baby boomers who were going to flood the system the next year - the board asked parents to send their children even though they weren't born by the end of June so that meant me and I was born in late September. I was excited to go to school and I sort of liked it when we could do things like read the books in the book corner but I disliked musical chairs and things like that. I liked to play games that required adding or other math skills because my brothers had taught me all of that. They were the siblings I was closest to for sure. Then I went to Grade 3 and the decision was made to accelerate some of the students by letting them do the Grade 4 work as I was in a split 3/4. I did well and so went into Grade 5. Although my brothers were proud of me I think it kind of wrecked our relationship a little because I was catching up and that wasn't the way that it should have been - one did one class at a time but the Baby Boomers were filling the school behind us and they needed to move us along if they could. I just thought they were wanting to be with their friends more and so I didn't spend my time with them so much after I went to Grade 5. We kind of drifted apart and it really wasn't until we were adults and many years later that my brother next older and I got back together again. He was a busy person and we lived seven hours away by car so did not see each other very often. 

We did share our love of the Anglican Church though and as I returned to my roots (in truth I never left them going to the local Anglican Church at early morning service) in the mid 90s when Edward decided to go to Dominion Chalmers United downtown I guess when the new minister came there and he was more of a  modern music type of person Edward suggested going to Christ Church Cathedral regularly as he did love the music there. He always said that I had gone to his Church when the girls were young which was what he wanted and now he would go to mine which was nice. I missed my Church for sure all those years - early morning is nice but the late morning service with all the music is so much better. Edward never really understood my devotions/prayers and I think in some ways he felt frightened by my total acceptance of God in my life but as his sickness took away his health he became more relaxed about all of that.

Doug and I started emailing after our Uncle died and it just sort of grew from there. He became interested in yDNA and after Edward and I tested at Sorenson I shared my results with him but they were mitochondrial. Science having been my forte more than his our roles reversed a little in those days as I became the one telling and he listening. We went to visit him four or five times a year starting around 2005 and part of that was putting together the Pincombe Profile for our cousin George Dekay. When George asked me and I agreed I also got him to agree to get our Pincombe cousins together and so that was the first time that Doug and I really worked on a project once again as we had as children. He enjoyed the process of putting that profile together and we got into talking about the mitochondrial DNA and then he said he would like to test and wanted me to help with that. So I said I could just send him the test from FT DNA and he could do the rest. That did start a whole new conversation which we would share until my husband took ill and we did not travel back to London anymore. But still we emailed and talked on the phone. 

As I moved closer to Doug in school I was leaving another brother behind, my younger brother (just eighteen months younger) but soon I would be four years ahead of him. It was weird really and I am not really sure it is good to accelerate children like that in retrospect. At least having been the one accelerated and the lonely side of that within a family grouping makes me think that way. Although to be honest I did enjoy my time to myself and my books and never reached out very much to people in my class as they were mostly older than me. I was just polite when they asked me to their house but mostly I liked being by myself (still do). I am trying to remember the last time I spoke to anyone and I think I may have waved at a neighbour a few days ago!  A couple of phone calls from scammers get one "hello" out of me and when obvious it is a scammer, generally as soon as they talk, I hang up.

Doug will always be missed for sure. He had many many friends; he was like that and I am glad that he had all of those friends in his retirement years. He always sounded like he had a life that he enjoyed.

Yesterday I did accomplish a first time through the Tenth Generation. This next time through there are some adjustments to make and the footnoting continues in earnest. The last generation gave me a good groundwork to use for the remaining three generations. I needed a path to follow as I work that way. Lay the groundwork then utilize that groundwork to reach towards the end of the project. 

I also finished the cleaning of the basement so today the other two floors. It is the heavier cleaning day so not so much will be accomplished on other projects. Jumping Jacks and teatime. 

I have had a few thoughts on publishing this Siderfin book. I think I will offer a Book Review to the BIFHSGO Journal (I am a member and have been from the very beginning; it was the only organization that I have ever joined other than being a Guider for Brownies but that wasn't really joining! I just did that for my daughters). So I will offer them a Book Review and put my email in so that people could request a copy of the book if that is their line (Siderfin). I am slowly thinking of how to disseminate this book but to save me all that emailing I could have a link to the book online on my server - glad that notion came to me although my daughter would have said it to me as well! If another book comes out using my book and their research then I will be content which is why I am doing a Creative Commons License for the book. Improving is what humans are meant to do not tearing down (unless of course something is created that is anti-human). There is also a deposit copy going in the Guild of one-name studies library (I am also a member of this organization) and it is to be freely available to anyone requesting a copy. Gradually it is coming together - the end of the book and how to disseminate it.

My daughter sent me an exciting article yesterday - 3700 year old Babylonian stone tablet gets translated and we learn that trigonometry was known and used by the Babylonians 1600 years before the Greeks. Amazing what is becoming available on our far past. I liked trigonometry when I studied it in Grade 13 all those years ago but then I loved Math and Science and could not get enough of learning about them and still I love to learn. The brain is meant to be always working on a problem; it keeps the gears oiled!

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