Monday, May 31, 2021

End of May and 7 degrees celsius

Edward was always saying that spring is definitely changing these days. We almost always have frost warnings at the end of May and into early June. I need to buy the bedding plants today and get that started. We have the glass table out now that we set the plants on until we can safely plant them.  

Managed to get cherry tomatoes (7 plants) and 8 green pepper plants. Worked up the two beds that they are going into and soaked them well. I will plant them this evening likely. Since I am selling this house in a couple of months I decided to do a little planting. Mostly I have just maintained what Ed had in his garden these last ten years. He did add in new plants especially as the Black Walnut Tree dominated the yard and what he had planted under that tree could not survive. 

I still need to get some flowers for the main garden. It is too overshadowed by the Black Walnut to really grow anything. I have a row of gladiolus bulb to put in. I will buy perhaps another couple of sets of flowers along with sunflower seeds if I ever find any. One sunflower plant has come up from last year and it is a bushy sunflower so will take up a good portion of the space that it is occupying behind the house where I am also planting the cherry tomato plants. Good sun there and not dominated yet by the Black Walnut. If it is shade that a person is looking for this yard has an abundance of it now with the large maple at the back and the cedar hedge which pretty much cuts out any noise of traffic. Along with the large section of raspberries (which are very edible and tasty) it is quite quiet at the top of the yard. The elderberry bushes also absorb a lot of traffic noise I suspect. 

Where the garden is would make a good spot for a large pool. This yard is enormous. You would have good sun in the morning and then shade during the warm afternoon so quite pleasant out there. I am not an outdoors person in terms of a backyard so it is pretty wasted on me for sure. I do enjoy the outdoors for all sorts of things like bird watching, boating, swimming but just to sit in the backyard not really my thing. 

Edward was disappointed when the Black Walnut emerged out of what was an entanglement of flowers and weeds next door. He mentioned to the then owner that it wasn't a very friendly tree for a garden but the neighbour didn't care. I suggested we think about moving way back then into a smaller place but Ed really enjoyed this house. His office was huge and full of all of his books plus he had books everywhere else! There was a time when the route to his desk was pretty narrow but gradually he moved it into other places including the closet of the room where I work which is stacked high with more of his notes, binders and such. 

As the boxing up of the books continues apace and I can see the end of all of that with boxes disappearing and huge bookcases going, I can now see that I could think about selling. Before there was just too much in the house to even think about that beyond knowing that I could not manage all of this. 

There is still so much to do and that does keep my mind off of grieving Edward these days. I have arranged plants around his urn in a special spot and can visit with him during the day whenever I want. I still do not know exactly what I will do in terms of internment. He liked Beechwood and I have looked into that. But if I move away from Ottawa (which is going to happen) then how would I visit him. How does one choose really? He was meant to outlive me in my mind so there is confusion in all of that for me. I grew up in southwestern Ontario although do not intend to live there either. His choice was Beechwood and we had investigated that a few years back before he knew that he was unwell. After he was not well he did not wish to talk about it. Although I didn't actually raise the topic at all. I was just going on what he had worked on with the Funeral/Burial people at Beechwood. I really did not have an opinion at the time and took very little part in the discussion. He choose a spot for the burial and then at the last moment decided not to do that. When I think about it I prefer a columbarium burial so would do that. I bought the wrong kind of urn so would have to buy a double urn to go into the columbarium. But I am not likely to be living in Ottawa unless I live to this ancient age when my children decide to retire here because Ottawa is their home. They love it here and actually I like Ottawa as well but not enough to live here where I am on my own. I also do not want to live in a retirement home particularly although would have moved to one with Ed as he was looking into that. The problem was he required too much care to live in a retirement home so he would have had to have long term care but I am still quite able to manage on my own if I want and would not move to a Retirement home on my own. The walking about the grounds might be interesting but I would be in a strange neighbourhood probably and my eyesight limits my ability and that will become more so in the next few years as my cataracts are developing. 

It is a conundrum that I am facing as I try to figure everything out.

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