Part of my grieving for Edward is that I never expected to outlive him and so I grieve for the things he wanted to do and didn't get to do. As I get further into the process of becoming the widow of Edward and all that entails from a financial point of view the movement forward is a very slow one fraught with small difficulties. In my present nervous state, each of these difficulties looms magnified many times in my weakened brain. I know that Edward would have handled my passing so much easier and better. I am still floundering somewhat although more and more items are being completed or resolved. In the last couple of months Edward brought up some things that he felt I should know and I did listen. I did gradually take over the finances so that he didn't worry about any of that once he felt he couldn't do it anymore. It was a gradual transition but now we are into the big transition and I just do not really want it to happen.
Once I sell the house and move to my daughter's house I will change again I expect. Surrounded by Edward everywhere; his imprint is on everything in this house, I have constant reminders of what was and that I would still like it to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment