Today is the Lord's Day and Church at 10:30 on YouTube at Christ Church Cathedral Ottawa. The steady rhythm of my life must take over from my sorrow; I try to do all the things that I was doing when we were caring for Ed. I always woke early and worked on my Microsoft Solitaire before he woke up. I continue doing that. I need continuity to get me through these days ahead of me. At the end of the first tunnel is my daughter's home where I will be once I have settled up everything here. It is a wrench to sell this house because of all the memories. Tomorrow we will have lived here for 43 years. But for my own health I must downsize, pack up and go. A complete change may restore me in time. I was so exhausted by the end of the year of nursing Edward. Not sure I entirely realized how exhausted I was becoming. You get into patterns and just repeat them day after day and I was very strong.
This house wasn't meant to be our home forever. Ed wanted to buy a larger single family house. He and the girls went house hunting about thirty years ago. But they didn't find anything to replace what we had here in both feeling and space. For some reason they built three out of four of the bedrooms quite large and the girls enjoyed all that space. So we stayed on here year after year as the girls finished school and then went into their adult careers. Sometimes I could see Ed looking at larger homes but gradually he was glad we stayed here; everyone was happy here and he realized that he didn't want to move either.
He could retire early in 2004 and what a wonderful thing in retrospect that he did. That extra few years when his health was excellent gave him the impetus to fine tune his genealogical research and led to his great discoveries. We traveled all over the northeastern United States making one great discovery after another. It was reward time and he reaped the benefits of his dedicated research. I did work another three years but he was happy at home working away on his family tree and into so many genealogical activities it kept my head whirling as we made trip after trip to one event after another. Life was incredibly busy and stayed that way until early 2020 when COVID-19 struck except for the year of the Pacemaker 2011-12 as I tend to refer to it.
But today is the Lord's Day and I shall rest and be glad in it.
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