Today I realized that I have now become the me that lived before Edward and I met all those years ago when he was in 4th year Chemistry and I was in 3rd year Chemistry. I was contemplating my career in those days and I had two directions that I intended to follow - the one was going into medicine and becoming a doctor in Africa and the second was going into the new science of criminology and working for the RCMP. I didn't do either as it turned out and not likely at the age of 76.5 years that I will do either so not quite the 19 year old me. The change is that I am once again part of my large family but keeping to myself as I always did and I have the wonderful luck to be the mother of two hardworking people. I try not to integrate my life into theirs as they are busy and so I spend my time as I did as a child working away on my projects. I spent my weekends with my grandmother quite often in those days as she so wanted to learn all that I was learning and it was a wonderful experience to spend time with her as she approached eighty years of age. Her mind was still very sharp and she had her projects but for the most part kept pretty much to herself helping her son and his wife to manage the store when they needed her to do that. She knitted baby outfits to go north to those who needed them and I suspect probably they clothed newborns in the northern hospitals in Ontario and perhaps the northwest territories at that time. I can not really remember. Her garden was her treasure and she grew vegetables at the back that were sold at the store as well as growing roses which were also sold at the store. The grass was perfect but not a lot of it as there was a lot of garden.
I am enjoying keeping to myself and it is the real me again. I did used to like to walk about quite a bit but tend to keep close to home these days as a good walk in the yard is as good as going around blocks for sure. Edward was the outgoing one and loved to be with people. I accompanied him but kept to myself pretty much. When we first moved to our present home a cousin of Edwards started to come by on occasion which Edward liked and so I did welcome he and his wife as well and did take on volunteer Church Secretary when they asked me. But they moved on in their busy life which was good as I really needed my quiet space most of the time and to be with the children; my nervous disorder required a very quiet life after the birth of my children so was really glad when Edward's Church hired a secretary as it took up a lot of time and required me to deal with people whom I did not know. Now I am back to my quiet time and accommodating my children when they need me to be helpful. I have my projects - my one name studies but mostly I have become interested in the DNA of our family lines especially as both will disappear in our generation and our children's generation. Realizing today that I am back to the real me once again is a treat. Being nearly 80 I will not make any commitments just live the days that God has given to me. Being a recluse suits me very well as it did when our children were young. The big plus is Church on YouTube although I missed it last Sunday as we were at the cottage.
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