On being 76

 The nicest thing about being 76 is that you know that your social interactions are decreasing rapidly and that is a good feeling for me. I have always avoided them whenever possible. The only real item that I have left to do where I have to actually be present is Edward's Celebration of Life and I expect it will be my last social interactions outside of family. Possibly I have avoided getting that together for that very reason. I hadn't really thought about it before. If I am involved in something I like it to run somewhat smoothly so tend to be an organizer of anything that I feel I have to do. So this is my last bit of organization in which I must be involved. It would not be fair to hand it off to my children. In my case, I do not want a funeral. I want my children to simply take my urn to the columbarium niche and insert it saying perhaps the Lord's Prayer if they so desire and nothing else. But Edward would have liked a big service at least when we were thinking about it back in 2017. He was going to leave instructions but in the end he left it all up to me. He would like what I am doing for the service especially the music and it is just one month and a day away now. Just one more reading to plan to add to the service and it is ready to go. 

I was at Church on You-Tube yesterday. I enjoy being at the service remotely; I have lost any desire to actually be there; the memory of Edward and I worshiping there is still very strong and I would be sad. Also it is too complicated unless one of my children goes with me. The parking is somewhat impossible now so will have to think that through for the Funeral. I will probably let my children figure that out. I will just get all the pictures together that I am taking - not too many; probably Edward's two favourite ones along with his medals of volunteer service. The best part of attending the local Anglican Cathedral is the office staff though; I prefer to just write to them to ask questions/get information. I was the volunteer secretary for the local Anglican Church here when we first moved here and then again when Edward decided to go to his United Church I was asked if I would be volunteer secretary and I did do that until they decided to employ someone (it was nice because I was already doing contract work at home and it saved me a lot of time not doing bulletins and so many phone calls breaking up my working day  although Edward was Church treasurer for ten years so I still ended up in lineups at the bank doing some items!). Plus I was never really comfortable at the United Church although it was nice to worship there as a family. I did help to plan the World Day of Prayer Service each year for many years which I enjoyed as well. It was a time when I felt very drawn to the Roman Catholic Church (and I still do). My pilgrimage to Rome was all part of that and I continue with my soul feeling more part of the Roman Catholic Church although I remain Anglican as my grandfather asked that of me.

Pretty soon it will just be me with my children writing my newsletters and getting all that research published. Mostly the house management lies with my children.  I think my non-social attitude is really beginning to show these days. Edward isn't here to convince me to go anywhere and I am content with just being here and doing everything remotely (although will make sure I have my reading glasses with me in the future for sure!). In six months I will have my bifocals back again. I only buy new glasses every two years; they are very expensive (over $900 last time for my glasses). 

Then there is also the excitement of each new day and the sun is shining gloriously today as Archdeacon Abraham would say. He loved the word glorious. As a small child in church he looked formidable to me and I thought he was Abraham of Bible days but of course I was very young then maybe four or five. His voice booming out across the Church is a very strong memory for me. I loved Church as a child and at all ages. I used to go to the United Church with my maternal grandmother, uncle and aunt when I stayed with them. I could see the difference from my Anglican service but the music and singing was always lovely. 

Amazingly in just three months I will be 77. On to the day, breakfast and the Kipp Newsletter.