Every once in a while the perennial question that I have had in my mind ever since my grandfather died when I was eight years old - Why am I here God? (it was something that my grandfather used to say about himself and then he would tell me the answer as he saw it). What purpose do I serve? And my mind answers me back with all sorts of things that I have to do and accomplish. This gift of humanity which God gave to each and every one of us must be treasured and used as each of us in our own way must serve the purpose for which we were created. But did God create tyrants? No, and they are sinners and must atone either in this world or the next. Good and evil have been part of our known world from the beginning of our known time and they are remembered because of the intensity of the Good or the evil.
Yesterday we went kayaking. It was very windy but these old arms managed to bring me back to a safe harbour although it was a struggle against the wind in a kayak. A canoe would have been smoother but I enjoy the kayak. The independence is marvelous. Just skimming along the surface amongst God's other creations is a wondrous experience.
I also accomplished a little on the Siderfin book. I think I can complete the 5th generation this next week assembling and inserting all the old material from James Sanders book and adding in the new sections from my own research. An interesting family the Siderfins; the name caught my eye when I finally discovered who the wife of John Rew, parents of Elizabeth (Rew) Pincombe (my 2x great grandmother) was back in the time of writing the Pincombe Profile. It was my first experience with serendipity in family research. I just let my mind follow Elizabeth and where she might go or what she might want to do that Census year of 1841. It was truly an amazing experience and I was very new to this game of hunting ancestors. I had watched Edward look for his Kipp 3x great grandparents for nearly fourty years by that time. He never did discover them for absolute surety - that is left for another generation; perhaps my daughter will find them. I think he was surprised at how my mind worked, Edward. I had come from a state of absolute abhorrence of anything like searching through fiche at long lists of names to actually doing that with my own lines. I did search through such items for Edward but as a favour to him in his studies - he did realize that but I did do that sudden about turn. I could not apply my logic to his research though. I never did have a feel for doing American research - it is very difficult in actual fact. So many records are missing from the Revolutionary Days and there doesn't seem to be a logic in their movements about the colonies as far as I can see. They just moved and the reasoning I could not discover although I did try a little harder once I saw how logic worked with my own lines - but they are all English and I grew up with two English grandparents very close to me so I probably think somewhat like an "English" person rather than the Canadian that I am.
But being Canadian is a wondrous experience and I learned in traveling about the world just how Canadian I am - we are a people that have learned to compromise in order for our country to survive. We must always compromise in order to have a truly perfect country - we must be able to back down and accept whatever compromise works - that was the problem with the illegal protest on the hill. They would not compromise; they had to win and for that they were displaced and never was there such a happy day in my mind as the day that the Emergencies Act was enacted and they were removed from our sacred Hill. That Hill is for everyone and never again should a protest be permitted to be on the Hill in my opinion. Around the Hill; in sight of the Hill but not on the Hill. Men and women fought two world wars in this past century to preserve our country and the Hill on which our Parliament stands is a forever memory of that sacrifice they made. We did that together as a country - it is our strength.
But back to God once again and why am I here. At this moment in my life I am writing books of what I have discovered on my families to share with my family but also to put into spots where other members of my larger family can also share that material. At other moments in my life my purpose has been to learn as a child, to be an effective adult although in my case I married before I was an adult really so a effective wife after I married and to be an effective mother when I had children and then to be an effective worker when I was employed. Now I am retired and it too is a glorious time to be an effective mother, grandparent or aunt and just live the life that God has granted to me the best way that I am able.
Church on You-Tube today as always. Last week the sermon was a treat from the new Deacon. He will be an interesting speaker and I hope to hear many sermons from him in the future. I toy with the idea of going to Bible Studies but I am content where I am. Perhaps they might be online. COVID did have an impact on me but I think perhaps it was becoming part of the Patient Partner in Research at St. Michael's Toronto that actually brought that out in me. I belonged to this fascinating research group from 2018 on (and we were online from the beginning; I have now stepped down) and we did some amazing work for patient care in Ontario in that group. I even took the course Patient Partners in Research which was excellent and certainly broadened my knowledge although I did work in the hospital for twelve years of my employment life.
Time to do my Solitaire games; I am out of order today as the perennial question popped into my mind when I awoke.
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