As we come out of lockdown once again I am left thinking about one's contribution to the great circle of life. Will I contribute or better put have I contributed? I have tried to be a peripheral person as long as I can remember. I always wanted to just watch and not be a part of the main stream flow of humanity. It was easier that way for me not to be so involved as a pedestrian. I did not really mind managing projects when the need arose; that way I was able to manage my input in a way that suited my ability to interact with people. For some odd reason that generally worked very well for me through the years. I even organized things so well that I did not have to actually be there for the event on occasion; everyone knew what they were doing and my part was just to organize it. Interesting to contemplate that from the position of having lived it. Now my time is totally my own for the first time in nearly 55 years; I always tried to help Edward with his projects without being totally immersed in it myself. That is much too stressful for me I used to think since my breakdown all those years ago. I can do a vast amount of work I just like to be peripheral so that I am not confused by worry over details. Having now passed through these three years since 2018 when Edward was first admitted to hospital dealing with his illness; I can see that I am able to spread out the stress of such events so that I can handle them slowly and methodically. In 2018 Edward was able to regain his strength and continue with his normal life style which was a very active one. He loved to be busy and I was recalling that as he recovered that was when the twice a day shopping began. Every morning for a couple of hours we were off to the shops and every afternoon for an hour or so we went to the mall for a good long walk.
But what is my present contribution to the great circle of life? I think it is my quiet research and publication of findings. The real value of the internet is possibly that people like me can sit and write and anyone looking for what I am writing can find it easily. I can keep this up for quite a while and it is satisfactory to me to do that. I read through my 144 comments on my blog the other day and discovered only one negative one actually. It was possibly an English Pincombe who for reasons beyond me found the Pincombe crest to be a manufactured item by an American. In truth it exists but the line that requested its creation is long ago extinct. At first I was going to respond to the actual comment but decided finally to just delete it as it was a couple of years old. I forgot that I had put comments on moderation! If he writes again I will comment but perhaps by now he has done his research and realized that the crest was created in 1616 but that that line has no members who carry the Pincombe name any longer.
The last few years when we shopped we have purchased a couple of interesting items for our anniversaries and birthdays. It is those items that I want on my walls now to remind me of our years together as empty-nesters. They were comfortable years where we spent time together as we had in our first eight years of marriage but with a difference. We knew each other better and were rewarded by a closer relationship which will last through eternity.
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