I continue reading here and there the ideas being put forward by the different people that do write their editorials on the current political situation. All very interesting and a good summing up of the current situation in Canada but I also continue being distracted by a personal item not yet resolved in my mind. One does have to do one's own resolution I think in the long run. I always remember the psychiatrist who looked after me in the hospital that apparently short two weeks (although I continued to see him for appointments perhaps a month apart; hard to remember that). I apparently really couldn't be helped by them in the hospital as in group therapy I would put aside my own difficulties of the moment and try to help other people. I definitely needed to be alone with my child and just work my way through the trauma that had created the breakdown and move forward in life because that is what one must do in actual fact. I remember the psychiatrist's parting words to me - "this is something that you are able to do for yourself and time and space will show you the way." He still felt I needed support but I was eventually moving away to a new place so he did make a couple of recommendations. I found a new family doctor whom I was very fond of and he was most helpful (I was sorry to have to have found a new one when we moved to the house we purchased a couple of years later). We settled into a rental house whilst we looked around at where we would like to live. I did come to grips with one of the mental issues quite quickly as it turned out and the solution to that was my inability to put myself first at any time (one can not do that readily with a child who needs you). So the obvious answer was to go back home for a short period whilst I regained my strength having exhausted myself with the move and setting us up. It worked very well and I had a lovely three weeks with my parents and siblings. My weight had dropped to just 110 pounds which was very thin - my mother said skeleton like. My daughter was so happy to see her grandparents again as she was very close to my mother. But three weeks later we were back and putting everything away out of its boxes and settling in to life in a new place. Strange really looking back. But the psychiatrist was right; my path out was through me. I do not know if that is the case for everyone but taking the course at St Paul's University many years later and now more than twenty years ago showed me where I had been and how I had come through it (it was on Group Therapy (how to set it up and administer it)). I couldn't see it before then probably because I was always very busy working at my proofreading/copyediting and later working in the medical field first at the Medical School and then later in the hospital plus those items I was volunteered for. But that gets away from where we are at in the world. I am just a little cog in all of that working away on these books that I know my grandfather is thrilled about in that spirit world that dances around us (at least that is how I see it) and that my mother is also very excited to see happening. I can see her directing me through the years towards what she wanted me to do because time wasn't there for her to do it. She was though in her 86th year when she passed but she never said it to me just little hints and her letters for more than 25 years. But the book is in creation for her as well and in her memory. She brought my next oldest brother and I together working away on the family DNA but I have only really recognized that in the last few months - time for thinking has been prominent for me because I am taking my time getting used to my new eyes!
So how to vote; that is the question. In 2015 after a good deal of thought I did vote Liberal having voted Conservative federally in the past. I did not particularly like the personal comments on Prime Minister Chretien in the 1990s but I did vote Conservative nevertheless. I continue to really dislike personal comments on people unless they have some bearing on the issues which is pretty seldom. My grandmother said that my grandfather used to chart these things and look at all the issues (I think it must have been exciting for my grandfather to know Sir John Carling (his mother's first cousin) during his young years (watching his two siblings pass away so young must have been hard and then to lose his mother at fourteen years of age). I am sorry not to have known my maternal grandfather as he died when my mother was just eight years of age. I think one is guided in one's thinking by one's family to a certain extent. When children are small particularly grandchildren get a lot of pleasure out of their grandparents. My little ones loved to get me to go down in the basement and kick the soccer ball around. It was that they wanted my time to themselves just for those moments and being the kind of person that I am I just went with them but now they are older and have their own lives which I am so happy to see. Plus it gives me time to write my books. Families are always in a symbiotic relationship but as we age that relationship can become quite distant. I try to keep it up with emails and messaging apps but I am not a telephone person normally. My visiting about is problematic as I am going on 80 and just do not want the hassle of travel on my own or inflicting myself on the system when it is already so very busy (old people can unfortunately be annoying in a young situation). Plus Edward loved to travel so much and it is just nice to be quiet for a while yet so I am primarily just working away on my books not going anywhere particularly just doing the hunter gatherer thing collecting up my food on a regular basis. I could order it delivered but I do like to pick up my own food and will continue with that. Yesterday I walked up and got my fresh salmon - I do love salmon.
More matches done yesterday and D is about half finished. A few rejections; not too many. I already have so many matches that I do not need to work with the ones that do not fit into the strict pattern that is my family lines which considers a lot of details. But I do look at them.
Time to play the solitaire games.
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