Feel like I am on a train ride

I do feel like I am on a train ride; been on this train ride for over a year now but can not get off at any of the stations in a permanent way. Have to keep getting back on the train and taking it to the next station. Strange metaphor that is. Possibly it is my sleep apnea which is now letting me get six hours of sleep most nights for the last couple of nights. Got off the train back in February 2012 when Ed got his pacemaker and that solved the health issues for quite a while during which time we took several more European/British Isles trips. But definitely I got back on this train in Aug of 2018 when Ed was hospitalized once again and since then the train keeps rolling on although until May 2020 there was a respite during which time we traveled all over Ontario and went to the United States to visit our daughter. But we spent a lot of time going to doctors it appears although in actual fact it was only a few times a year; it just felt like that. Doctors are great people by the way; they listen attentively and then deliver back their thoughts some of which you may not really want to hear but hearing them prepares you and helps you to pave the way to the best health that you can find given the circumstances. I am still living by the ideas of the doctors who looked after me years ago when I was 29. I have listened to every doctor since then but they weren't there when I was 29 and I was so I now listen and work it out against that backdrop in my mind after a couple of directions that did not work for me. These last twenty five years that has worked very well for me. 

Edward on the other hand has had good health all these years until the need for a pacemaker hit him like a ton of bricks in actual fact. So he has to listen to everything in the present where his entire past history is an unknown. Is it possible to catch some of these things when you are younger and somehow ameliorate the effects? I have no idea actually. But it is a thought that comes to me often enough. Ed and I did not grow up in the same area; we didn't even know each other until we met at University - he was in third year Honours Chemistry and I was in my second year of Honours Chemistry. He grew up in the country (his father had died of a farming accident when Ed was 2) and was raised by his mother and he had a brother eight years older. I on the other hand grew up in the city, the middle child of seven children (four boys and three girls). So we do not know a lot about each other's background health. There isn't much to know about mine really. I was never in a hospital (except to be born there) until the birth of our first child. I did work in the hospital in the lab at the end of my third year and it was quite fascinating. I remained working there after we married for a while. Then I moved on to research and worked in several laboratories and then because I seemed to be suffering possible miscarriages took a desk job working for the Post Office and bingo our first child arrived. Then a nervous breakdown and then working at home proofreading and editing for private printers. We had our second child in a hospital and that is it for medical issues other than aging. Ed on the other hand had his tonsils out the month after we married. Then he finished his PhD, did his MLS and went to work at NRC for thirty years. He was never actually ill although I did notice that working at a desk rather than in the laboratory he had fewer colds. He retired and full time into genealogy - one of his passions. Still he was healthy and then 2011 hit and suddenly he was an invalid; it was so sudden. 

Now it is 2021 and he is in hospital for a very long time now - 21 days. My sense tells me this is not a good thing. But Ed has shown remarkable recuperative powers before and I keep thinking that this train ride will stop and he will get off and still have a good life before we get too old and too fragile.