Sorting and listing books again yesterday. Over ten boxes now completed. Perhaps we are 1/3 rd of the way. I feel sad but I can not keep all of these books. They would benefit so many researchers as he has collected many of them from the New England States and different conferences that we attended over the last twenty odd years. He showed me how he had recorded all the information but I can also go to the Archives and look items up if I need to in the future.
He loved his library. Actually Edward loved all of his possessions and was very protective and careful of them. They were him partially; an extension of his being and so he can continue doing what he liked to do which was to help other people achieve their genealogical goals. He did help in the library for quite a while I think. The years blur but he did go regularly until the year of the Pacemaker. Then I started going with him to help him. That was the case with all of his commitments. I took on items I never would have done in many cases. It was probably good for me but I also found it exhausting at the time.
I am still in the in between land of where I was and where I will be. It is still hazy and I am still avoiding people simply because I do not want to talk. I want solitude to cement my memories which will then help me to move forward. My conversations are few and necessary at the moment. I will try harder later to communicate.
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